Betrayed Partners of Sex Addicts
Partner Betrayal is… Trauma!
When your partner’s sex addiction — Infidelity, has been discovered it shatters your world! This is experience is emotionally devastating as the person this is Betrayal Trauma. Partners of sex addicts describe their experiences as they are repeatedly ran over by their partner with a dump truck, then call an ambulance and their partner gets in the ambulance is wisked away for their treatment, leaving the betrayed partner feeling isolated, alone, and confused and overwhelmed.
Our Team of Partner Specialists are here to Help!
If you hear then you have discovered your partner has a sexual addiction, engaging in behaviors ranging from emotional and/or sexual affairs, compulsive pornography usage, paying for sex, voyerism, etc. You have been devastated by this discovery and your world, as you know it, has been shattered. Betrayed Partners often feel a mix of shock, confusion, rage, profound sadness, even questioning their reality and sanity due to the many lies told to them to hide the secretive behavior. These are a normal traumatic responses to experiencing such a profound relational betrayal by the person in this world you have loved the most.
As the partner of a sex addict you might have been completely blindsided by the betrayal, or you might have had a “sixth sense” for a long time that something was wrong or somewhere in-between. Many do not understand the nature and scope of the problem until they find tangible truth, often being gaslighted years and made to feel crazy for “thinking such terrible things about their spouse.” Frequently people come to therapy when the house of cards built by the sexual addict has come crashing down. Painful discoveries exist in an array of cascading circumstances for the sex addict: being arrested, being “outed” by an affair partner, the spouse coming across an undeleted browsing history, photos of sexting unintentionally shared across devices — whatever the situation partners are devastated by the betrayal. Regardless, it is not your fault!
To compound insult to injury, the initial discovery is frequently followed by the further trauma of “staggered disclosure,” whereby the sex/porn addict reveal to their spouse only those details which are pertinent to the latest piece of evidence found by the spouse after their detective work.
Supporting Betrayed Partners of Sex Addicts
Our team of Betrayed Partner Trauma Specialists are here to help you navigate the traumatic effects of betrayal on your road to recovery, growth, and healing. Each specialist works from the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM), developed by the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). This model recognizes you, the partner, as someone who has experienced significant wounding and traumaas a result of events completely outside of your control. This is not your fault. Reach out for help now.
A Treatment TEAM approach makes us Stand Apart!
What makes Life Balance Counseling different is simple: you're never working with just one therapist — you're supported by a whole team. Our betrayal trauma specialists work hand-in-hand with our Certified Sex Addiction Therapists, bringing together their combined experience so you get care that's thoughtful, coordinated, and built around real healing, not just surface-level fixes.
We know that when trust has been broken, the first thing you need is to feel safe again. So that's where we start — helping you rebuild a sense of safety in your relationship, while also supporting your partner on their path to lasting sobriety. From there, we walk alongside you as you move out of survival mode and into a place of steadier emotional footing, where boundaries start to feel less like walls and more like the groundwork for something stronger. Because that's really what boundaries are: not a way to keep people out, but the foundation trust gets rebuilt on.
Healing After Betrayal. Establishing Safety. Rebuilding Trust.
Meet the Team of Specialists that work with Betrayed Partners
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Kathleen Griffith, LCSW, EMDR Trained, & APSATS Multidimensional Partners Treatment Model (MPTM) Trained
Kat’s approach is empowering, non-shaming, compassionate, action-oriented, and, most importantly, founded on the understand of the profound traumatic abuse from their partner’s betrayal and deceptive abuse. You didn’t cause his sex/porn addiction, you cannot cure sex/porn addiction,, and you cannot control his sex/porn addiction,.
She combines her years of working with a variety of alcoholics & addicts and the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) developed by the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) to help the betrayed partners of Sex Addicts. Kat believes strongly in empowering the disempowered, and emphasizes the secretive sexual life of the sex/porn addict as psychological abuse and will guide you through your journey of healing from traumatic betrayal and navigate the traumatic effects of partner betrayal and deception.
Kat leads the Monday Betrayal Partner Therapy Group.
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Ashley Heeren, LPC, EMDR Trained, & APSATS Multidimensional Partners Treatment Model (MPTM) Trained
Ashley works with Betrayed Partners of Sex/Porn Addicts utilizing the framework of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) developed by the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS).
Ashley brings a gentleness & grace to her work with betrayed partners, as someone who has experienced significant wounding and trauma as a result of events completely out of your control. This is not your fault! Reach out for help now.
As a trained APSATS Partner Trauma Specialist and is to help you navigate the traumatic effects of this betrayal on your road to recovery, growth, and healing. Her approach is direct yet empathetic, action-oriented yet grounded, strength-based and non-shaming, and, most importantly, founded on the understand of the profound traumatic abuse that betrayed partners experience.
Ashley Co-leads the Foundations of Betrayal Partner Recovery Workgroup.
This model views you, the partner, as someone who has experienced significant wounding and trauma as a result of events completely out of your control. This is not your fault! Reach out for help now.
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Melissa Ross, LCPC, EMDR Trained, & APSATS Multidimensional Partners Treatment Model (MPTM) Trained
As a trained APSATS Partner Trauma Specialist, Melissa’s role is to help you navigate the traumatic effects of this betrayal on your road to recovery, growth, and healing. As a US Navy Veteran, her approach is direct yet empathetic, action-oriented yet grounded, strength-based and non-shaming, and, most importantly, founded on the understand of the profound traumatic abuse that betrayed partners experience.
Melissa works from the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) developed by the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). This model views you, the partner, as someone who has experienced significant wounding and trauma as a result of events completely out of your control. This is not your fault! Reach out for help now.
Melissa leads the Foundations of Betrayal Partner Recovery Workgroup.
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Leslie "Les" Perera, AMFT, EMDR Trained & ERCEM Trained, & ERCEM Trained (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model)
Les combines both his training as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM) to help individuals and couples navigate the traumatic effects of partner betrayal and a lack of empathy. As a US Navy Veteran, Les has a unique approach of an “iron fist inside a velvet glove” as he is direct yet empathetic, emotionally focused yet grounded in action, compassionate and non-shaming, and, most importantly, founded on the understand of the profound traumatic abuse that betrayed partners experience.
Les will guide you & your marriage back towards one another while building safety, empathy, and trust. Les believes real healing is possible if both partners are willing to do the hard work of rebuilding from the ground up with honesty, taking ownership, and changing old ingrained patterns.
Les facilitates a 10 week “Help.Her.Heal” Empathy Building Workgroup every quarter for Sex Addicts in recovery.
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Melissa McAuley, LSW, CSAT-Candidate, EMDR Trained, APSATS Multidimensional Partners Treatment Model (MPTM) Trained, & ERCEM Trained (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model)
As a trained APSATS Partner Trauma Specialist, Melissa’s role is to help you navigate the traumatic effects of this betrayal on your road to recovery, growth, and healing. Her approach is direct yet empathetic, action-oriented yet grounded, strength-based and non-shaming, and, most importantly, founded on the understand of the profound traumatic abuse that betrayed partners experience.
Melissa works from the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) developed by the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). This model views you, the partner, as someone who has experienced significant wounding and trauma as a result of events completely out of your control. This is not your fault! Reach out for help now.
Melissa leads the Tuesday Betrayal Partner Therapy Group.
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Alan Moreland, LMFT, CSAT-Supervisor, CMAT-Financial Disorders & Tech Addiction, EMDR Certified, & ERCEM Trained (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model)
As a Marriage & Family Therapist, Alan has worked for years with sex/porn addicts, betrayed partners, and couples struggling with these and related issues. But he knew something was missing, but did not know what until his friend, Allan Katz, helped co-write with Carol Juergensen Sheets the book, “Help.Her.Heal.”
Upon reading and applying the principles of this book, his perspective shifted profoundly. So much so that in the Fall 2023, Alan and several other staff members completed the ERCEM (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model) developed by Carol Juergensen Sheets.
The ERCEM training provided a clear, step-by-step roadmap for fostering safety in the relationship, empathy-building, radical ownership, and truth-telling within the relationship, even and especially in the early stages of recovery. Alan realized that the traditional methods he had been using often left couples stuck in cycles of anger and disconnection, unable to bridge the empathy gap, allow the betrayed partner to feel safe, and to connect.
Alan leads multiple weekly therapy groups for both Betrayed Partners & Sex Addicts.
Empowering Self. Establishing Boundaries. Rediscovering You.
Discovering that a partner has engaged in sexual betrayal — whether through infidelity, pornography, or compulsive sexual behavior — can be devastating. It can shake your sense of safety, self-worth, and reality. The pain of betrayal is not just emotional; it’s deeply traumatic.
At Life Balance Counseling Peoria, we understand that betrayed partners experience a form of trauma known as betrayal trauma. Our therapists provide a safe, confidential space for you to process what has happened, begin to heal, and decide what rebuilding looks like for you — with or without your partner.
Understanding Betrayal Trauma
When the person you trust most is the source of pain, it can turn your world upside down. Many betrayed partners experience:
Shock, confusion, or disbelief
Intense anger, sadness, or anxiety
Obsessive thoughts or intrusive images
Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
Loss of trust or safety in relationships
Self-blame or questioning one’s worth
Emotional numbing or hypervigilance
Feeling isolated or alone in the experience
These are normal responses to trauma — not signs of weakness. Healing begins with understanding that your reactions are valid and that recovery is possible.
Our Approach to Healing
At Life Balance Counseling Peoria, we use a trauma-informed, empowerment-based approach to help betrayed partners move from shock and pain toward clarity, stability, and healing.
Therapy focuses on:
Stabilization and emotional grounding after discovery
Psychoeducation on betrayal trauma to normalize your experience
Processing grief, anger, and loss in a safe, supported way
Boundary-setting and self-protection skills
Rebuilding trust — internally and externally
Reconnecting with your identity and confidence
Our therapists meet you where you are — whether you’re deciding to stay, separate, or simply find your footing again. You don’t need to have all the answers right now.
When Couples Choose to Heal Together
For some couples, joint therapy becomes part of the healing process after individual stabilization. If desired, we offer couples counseling with clinicians trained in relational trauma and trust restoration to help partners:
Rebuild emotional safety and communication
Develop accountability and transparency practices
Address underlying issues contributing to betrayal
Explore forgiveness and reconnection when ready
Couples therapy is always guided by your pace, your needs, and your readiness.
Our Commitment to Safety and Support
We understand that betrayal trauma is not just about broken trust — it’s about rebuilding a sense of emotional and physical safety. Our clinicians offer confidential, compassionate care grounded in empathy and respect.
Many of our therapists also have experience supporting clients through trauma, addiction recovery, and complex family systems, offering a holistic approach to healing for both individuals and couples.
Begin Your Healing Journey
Betrayal can leave deep wounds — but with support, you can reclaim your strength, self-worth, and peace. Whether you choose to rebuild your relationship or move forward independently, you deserve healing and clarity.